God wants us to work. It is spoken throughout the bible. So anyone who is out of work and unemployed has a desire to do something fulfilling. That desire to be wanted can drive the wrong decisions. When a company wants you, it feels good. Especially if you are dealing with the shame of being let go. That desire can override a rational thought process. Feeling wanted can have positive and negative impacts in many parts of our life.
In my case, I had been searching for about four months. I was doing everything needed to find the next opportunity. I was networking with everyone I knew. Every coffee, lunch or breakfast would yield new names to connect with and meet. It was a great time of expanding my network and meeting a ton of new people. I was scouring every recruiting site and making sure my resume was up to date everywhere. I attended “focus” groups to meet with other unemployed folks and network there. I was busy. Of course, I was also interviewing during this time. It seemed like I was engaging with a new opportunity every couple of weeks.
Then everything dried up as the heart of summer hit. I was the bridesmaid on a couple of great jobs, but that didn’t get me down. Then I met a person who was starting up a new company. They were doing some cool things and asked if I wanted to tag along. In my attempt to continue to build my network, I lent my knowledge on a particular activity. We build a relationship and he then asked me if I wanted to work with him for 10-15 hours a week. The hourly pay was a fraction of what a going rate would be, but it held the promise of getting in on the ground floor of a start up.
I jumped in, especially since the HR jobs market had cooled down. I figured it would keep me busy and active while providing time to spend looking for a job. Oh, and I probably should mention I was trying to finish a book. Well, the part time job grew and before I knew it, I was spending every day working with this company. It was fun and interesting, so I really didn’t mind. Besides, I was getting some money in. Enough to buy groceries. Then, I was asked to join the company full time. It would be a really low monthly rate with the prospect of becoming invested in the company as it grew. It was an enticing offer. So I put it to prayer.
Around this time, God had me reading Ezekiel. On the day I began to pray about signing on full time, I read Ezekiel Chapter 16:32-34. It says, “‘You adulterous wife! You prefer strangers to your own husband! All prostitutes receive gifts, but you give gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from everywhere for your illicit favors. So in your prostitution you are the opposite of others; no one runs after you for your favors. You are the very opposite, for you give payment and none is given to you.” The verse is God talking to Israel, but these verses went straight to my heart. I was giving myself away to this company. I love how God can gently and lovingly pierce my heart while providing direction. He was telling me not to prostitute myself. I am worth more to Him and to the company He desires me to work for.
After following this rabbit trail, because I was wanted, I finally got the correction I needed. God pulled me back to the right path. I still am in a good relationship with the owner of the company and who knows, maybe I will work there one day. For now, God has me on a different path. I am focused on building my relationship with Jesus, searching for a job and writing. No more rabbit trails for me!